I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
NoShamevember. You game?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
