I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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