you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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