She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
