Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
