What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
