So drunk its hurt
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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