dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
