Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
they need to just BURY HIM!
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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