Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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