ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
