I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
i think i have herpe
just one?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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