u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
