upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
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