I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Drake has all the answers
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
