So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
