So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
