sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
