office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
