Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
