how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I cockslap morals
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
We have started to decorate penises.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
