first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
