Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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