She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
