we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
He felt like a one man threesome
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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