You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
