My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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