If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
