How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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