Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
