Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
