ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I look better un-naked...
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Randomize
