Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Randomize
