my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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