1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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