Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
My vagina just recognized that song.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
