So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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