so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
We have so much sex to catch up on
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
