He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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