My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
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