He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Randomize
