i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
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