I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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