also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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