I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
