yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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