I accidentally had phone sex last night
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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