Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
