Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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