Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Your cock deserves a montage
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
