names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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