At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
