Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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