He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
