Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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