i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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