I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I need a beard to bite.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
