i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
