My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
