Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
