What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I lost the right to judge tonight
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
