had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
