PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
