Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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